What I did on my summer vacation

Dear internets,

Wow, has it really been a whole year? No? Oh well, absence makes the heart grow cankles and so forth.

Anyway, things have been super nuts this year, some douchebag in Wisconsin decided it would be a super great idea to take money from teachers and give it to yacht makers, beer barons, and I don't know, probably monocle sweatshop industrialists. This upset folks for some reason.

Let's see, what else. Ah, I know! I've been messing around with twitter a little bit, so now when I'm composing email and posting stupid blog posts and whatnot, I only hit the space bar once after a period instead of twice. I've heard that whenever you hit the space bar twice, your old English teacher has an orgasm. So, thank you, Twitter, for that.

And OMG, did you hear about this Casey Anthony lady? What a bitch, the people on TV tell me.

So anyway, back to me; I put this Rage Comic together, which took not really all that long. Geez, I've really wasted my summer hiding from the angry sun all summer.



Ha, I'm not so much a bad cook as a lazy one.

I suppose I've also been doing some writing, well, more to the tedious point, editing. I'll be posting the least bad versions of a few things shortly. And who knows, maybe some classy jokes, too. I'd like to tell you a Casey Anthony joke, but my mom would kill me.


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Listening to: Lenny Kravitz - Always On The Run
via FoxyTunes

Best thing ever (so far today)

Is there, deep in your heart, a desire to hear the great scenes in cinema history dubbed with the voices from SpongeBob Squarepants?

You're welcome!

OMG! RLHS? WTF?!?

OMG...do you guys like superheroes? Like in real life?

How about the movie Kick-Ass? Did you leave the theater, striding up the carpeted incline to the uplifting music thinking, "Yeah, I am so going to have to finally do that!" And if not, what the fsck is wrong with you?!?

Did you wear a cape as a child? (I did - I think it was a beach towel fastened with a safety pin) Well, why not pull it out of the back of the closet and come out as a Real Life Super Hero?

This site is awesome! You could spend hours, or at least halves-of-hours, just repeatedly hitting the 'Random Page' button.



These guys just dress up and go out and foil crimes. Yeah, that's all. How do you spend your Thursday nights? Watching Community? OK, I can see that; it's an excellent show. But are you still on the couch when Trump's ugly mug is on? Not these guys.

One of them says he goes around spray painting over graffiti:

“I use a cell phone, flashlight and a can of gray spray paint all the time. The spray paint is to paint a neutral color over gang graffiti, thus reclaiming the neighborhood for the people and not the gangs. It's supposed to be a lethal insult to the gang (meaning they have the ‘right’ to kill you for doing it.).”

Myself, I hold my keyring in my fist when walking after dark, making sure that the individual keys stick out between my clenched fingers. Kick ass!

You know what else is a good movie? Undercover Brother.





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Listening to: Best Friends Forever - BFF Theme Song
via FoxyTunes

Well...

...I can see by the fact that the NaNoWriMo badge over there on the right is not functioning correctly anymore that it must be about time for NANoWriMo2010.



What is today? Or I suppose what I want to know is when is Nov. 1? Monday?!? Yikes...I'm still not done editing from last year's project, but good news: I think I'm almost to the point where editing becomes counterproductive. I mean, anything more than 7 edits and you probably were starting out with crap in the first place, right?

This year my book will be about a goalkeeper. I know, I can probably stop right there, you're already sold, can't wait to get a peek. Patience, weirdos. Follow my progress here.



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Listening to: Rachid Taha - Rock el Casbah
via FoxyTunes

Shuffle knows you...

It really does. Better than you know yourself. Or maybe it's just more brutally honest than you can allow in the dank tenement room you occupy, not even noticing the smell of crushed buckets of old chicken bones, oblivious to the clatter and crunch of empty beer cans underfoot as you walk the well-worn path to the fridge and back to the couch again, where you more collapse than sit on the darkened sticky cushions....what was I taking about?

Never mind. Let's us click on "shuffle" and delve straightforward into the murky depths of the subconscious and see what creepily brushes against us, shall we?

1) Fuck and Run - Liz Phair

2) Bricks Crumble - Dälek

3) Fur Elise - Beethoven

4) Do You Love Me Now, Jr. - Breeders feat. J Mascis

5) Help I'm Alive - Metric

6) Mouthful of Diamonds - Phantogram

7) Seether - Veruca Salt

8) We Never Change - Coldplay

9) Been It - Cardigans

10) Do You Love Me Now? - El Jezel

11) Send His Love To Me - PJ Harvey


OK, first off, what the hell happened to Liz? I mean, White Chocolate Space Egg? WTF was that about? How do you go from Exile in Guyville to that tripe?!?!?

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let's see what has been revealed:

• 8 of 11 songs are from women. Not surprising, given subject's tastes. Music from a guy's point of view is *so over*.
• Interesting mix of genres; classical, hip-hop, techno, alt., etc.
• Same song twice, but by different artists. Subject has a thing for covers. Too bad most of them suck. I mean really. Just google covers of Suffragette City, for example. Horrible - just horrible! Why would you try to do that better than David Bowie?
• Fuck and Run, Bricks Crumble, Help I'm Alive, Seether, We Never Change, Been It...our subject seems to harbor defeatist, passive-aggressive tendencies.

How, how freaky is that?



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Listening to: The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
via FoxyTunes

Dying is easy...

...writing is hard.

Well, not the actual writing. It's the editing - the keeping of consistency, the tying up of loose ends, the ensuring congruity of symbols and motifs...ugh. That's probably why I decided to just have a couple of beers and watch hockey when I got home form work tonight. And then I wasted time on the internet. Some highlights of my travels:

Failbooking

xkcd

slashdot

and of course, facebook, blogger and youtube.



Back at it tomorrow. Bleah.



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Listening to: Camera Obscura - French Navy
via FoxyTunes

Zenstant Film!

First, a bit of business. Almighty Google has shown no results for the usage of the phrase "Zenstant Film", so I hereby lay claim to it (patent pending!). Refer to this blog's Creative Commons license with any questions.

OK, now that that's out of the way, here's the first in what will (hopefully) be a series of short, short films - simple moments captured for posterity, kind of like the plastic bag footage in American Beauty, but hopefully not quite as pretentious. Allow me to present "Crunchy Ice":





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Listening to: Phantogram - "When I'm Small"
via FoxyTunes